Letting go and feeling better

Yes it has been a while since I've posted. A lot has gone on the last three weeks. So here you have the long story short - kind of. About three weeks ago Jared and I went to Mesa to the temple and while there I started to have regular contractions. Since I was only 29 weeks along it was not a good thing. We did still get our Bahama Bucks on the way home though. By the end of that night we were headed to the hospital with contractions that had been three minutes apart for two hours. Luckily after about 6 hours in the hospital the nurses were able to get them to stop and we headed home with the instructions to stay in bed as much as possible and be on light duty. Funny thing is that this exact thing happened with Raden when I was pregnant with him but I was in the hospital for a couple days with him. Silly boys. Anyway - Jared was amazing and didnt let me lift a finger. The kids were great and Bailee was a huge help getting them ready for school and making lunches. Now  - I tend to think that I am a really independent person and didnt realize how hard it would be to stay down. The first day was nice but by the third and fourth I was going crazy. I really think some depression set in. It was really hard to let other people  - family and friends - come and do my " job" - as much as it was appreciated. It was hard for me to hear what was going on in the other room and not be in control of it. I ended up on the couch some days just so I could be in the middle of things. Aside from being fiercely independent I may have a little thing called a control  issue. Haha. And to not be in control of my body or anything else was extremely hard. Why is always harder to accept service than give it? It came to the point that I finally realized I needed to make a choice - Let go or go insane. Seriously.So I let go - not that is was as easy as that - some seriously emotional days followed.  But I found out that it is actually nice to let others do things for you sometimes.

Just as I was feeling better I had a couple days of extreme back pain and vomiting. I finally decided that that was not normal and luckily had both of my sisters to help take me to the hospital and take Jadie for me. Jared met us there and after some tests and wonderful drugs - was told that I had kidney stones and a kidney infection. I was also having more contractions 2 minutes apart. Fun.  We had to stay overnight to get everything under control but was able to go home the next afternoon. The next 4 days or so are kind if blurry thanks to pain meds. Jared, my sisters, mom and friends took over once again and once again I had to learn to let go. It was a little easier this time with how much pain I was in. I can really see how easy it can be to become addicted to pain meds.


So now  it has been a week since I was in the hospital, no more pain meds, only three days left of antibiotics and I am feeling better.

So here is where I need to say thank-you.  Jared - thank you for being with me. For sitting in uncomfortable hospital chairs and sleeping on even more uncomfortable sofa/beds. For rubbing my back when nothing else worked and translating what the nurses were saying. For taking care of everything at home that I wasnt able to do and never complaining once. For being the strength that I needed to lean on.  Bailee, Raden, Lexi and Jadie - thank you for helping each other and  being understanding. For being willing to go to others homes and have people come to ours. For your prayers and smiles that helped me through the day. Alicia and Afton - thank you for being willing to drop whatever you were doing and take me to the hospital and staying there until Jared got there then going back to the house to watch the kids. For taking Jadie at the last second, helping with the other kids and calling to see how I was doing. Mom - thank you for coming over at the drop of a hat and staying with us for a couple days. I cant list how much you did :)  It meant so much to us to have you there.  And to all those that gave priesthood blessings, brought dinners, books, took my kids, and just called to see how I was doing - thank you. For helping me let go and for just being there.

Here are just a couple pics that were taken - things we learned :)

Sleeping in bed is over rated - especially when you can be in front of the tv all day with snacks

 Naps are good anywhere anytime

 It is much more fun to get to wear what you want to. mask, slippers and all

 Grandma has some really cool craft ideas - mini marshmallows and toothpicks were just the beginning

 Breakfast in bed from the kids is always good. Toast and eggs and a glass of milk. So cute! Haha this picture makes me laugh -  Jared got breakfast in bed too.

Aunt Afton is a great trampoline jumper - poor Jadie had been inside for days with me.

I've never been good at putting my thoughts into words so this post didnt come out the way  it sounded in my head. I just hope everyone knows how grateful I am for everything and how much I love you all.