vent

I told my kids today that i quit.  I know I will regret that later. I am not posting for comments, pity, or anything else - just  to vent. Since this is my way of journaling you all get the bad with the good - And I will probably wake up in the morning feeling much better and regretting this post. Hopefully you will forgive me and not think less of me. And I know that others have bigger issues than I do - but this is MY issue. 

I am tired. I am tired of all the complaining and whining and tantrums. I am tired of the crying and screaming and tattle-taleing ( is that a word?)  I am tired of not having enough time. I am tired of not  having enough patience. I am tired of not getting to sleep at night. I am tired of not being able to pee or shower w/o kids coming in or the persistant knocking on the door. I am tired of not having my time or space. I am tired of trying so hard to be healthier and in better shape and  feeling like its a losing battle. I am tired of feeling like I am fighting and pulling teeth all day long. I am tired of always trying so dang hard - just to feel like it just gets harder. I am tired of being tired.

- Big Breath -

There - I already feel better

Now I can go finish getting the kids ready for bed - I actually hear a little laughter coming from behind closed bedroom doors- a good sign?

Raden just came out and said he wanted to be a kid again ( instead of a mom - since I quit)

I guess that means I am hired again -

Ok - I'm ready now.



Update: So after some cuddle time on the couch, family prayers, goodnight kisses and hugs, and the sound of soft breathing I am reminded once again  that the cliche is true - it really is all worth it, and I really wouldnt trade it for anything